been a long while. havent felt like writing anything. not in a while at least. its been pretty fucking meh for the past month or so. watched most of Dexter within the span of my time since. had a couple of fun parties pass by. things are changing again for better and the people that care about me are present in my life. everyone else is gone and leaving. less and less every day but i guess quality beats quantity right? one day i can have something closer to the dream but for today i have my handful and thats how its going to be for a long while.
speaking of dreams, my usual nightmares are now being slowly replaced with the occasional not expressly nightmare but still very much uncomfortable and unsettling and now with people i know and have known. i will count this as a win.
ive been in a huge slump and hopefully things get better for me soon. i plan on picking myself up. im a fucking mess. but at least i shaved this week. i want to become the me i know i am deeeeeeep down. i hope one day i can get there.
i just wish time could stand still and i could stay in this present moment forever. but i know i cant. it wont stop. heres to more life and maybe less of these updates as i go. maybe thats a good thing?
-nmiv
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