first journal entry. yay. idk if these should have structures but i
will just figure that out as i go. i think writing a bit about how
my life is going would be good for myself in terms of figuring out
how my head works and maybe how to talk about things to people and
not a text document. otherwise im doing great. relatively. or some
thing.
the good stuff:
okay structure time. some good stuff happened lately. i have a decent
job now which is awesome as opposed to the shit job i have before.
i love money :3 this shit is awesome. i bought some more board game
stuff last week. i played betrayal a long while ago and finally
bought it to play it with my friends.
the anecdotal stuff:
this is probably going to be the real meat and potatoes of this post.
lifes just been interesting and a lot of stuff is changing. one of
my close friends is going through a lot with transing their whole
gender (PS if ur reading this we love you, stay tough!!!) and im
going through a lot of mental breakthroughs as well. like realizing
my weird distrust of reflections of myself is most likely some phobia
or irrational fear. its not debilitating but i managed to shave for
the first time in like 2 weeks. so thats cool. when it came to music
i was always a big fan of just listening to 3 songs per artist/album
and or just listening to random song from everything. not much of
a like sit through a whole album kind of dog. but lately i was
reminiscing about this one teacher i had in highschool(?). he asked
what song i was listening to during a test and i told him i was
listening to a king crimson song. he asked what album i liked and
i said i wasnt much of an album guy and he shrugged and said:
"shame, their music is best experienced all the way through." i
disregarded the comment at the time but now that ive found music
that i love i totally get it now. so thank you mr. lillis very very
retroactively thank you.
the bad stuff:
what hasnt gone wrong in the past year for me at this point lol.
ive lost a lot of friends due to drama out of my control. which
sucks but what can you do? its honestly a damn shame though cause
a lot of people meant a lot of things to me. people who promised
me they wouldnt abandon me or treat me like the filler friend i
was told i was in highschool. and yet, here we are. im not mad
about it but it deeply saddens me that i can still be thrown away
so easily by people who i shouldnt have trusted. ive done my best
to cling on to what i can but at this point im down to like 15ish
friends total and a handful of good acquaintances. and if youre
reading this (i know theres a chance you are) i hope you are all
well and i still miss you guys. i hope i meant something while you
had me. but i understand if i was just another freak to manipulate.
ending:
thank you for sticking with me this long reader. you mean a lot to
me. my 3rd (21st in human years) birthday is approaching in less
than 2 weeks. i intend on keeping this going for a little bit with
a little consistency. so see you next time.
live and drink friends,
-No Mirrors in Valhalla.
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